When Rose Costello's son was a toddler, she would clean one thing and he would undo it or start another mess somewhere else. "I just was like, this is such a huge waste of my life force," Costello told KVNF. That was the first idea for A Motherhood Experience, the new show she'll perform Saturday, Nov. 7, at The Hearth in Paonia.
Costello, an artist and stay-at-home mom, says a big part of parenthood for her was "the experience of stuff." When she talked with KVNF on a video call, she was standing in front of a pile of diaper boxes higher than her head. "This is even just a fraction of it," she said.
She knew parenthood would be hard, she said, but she "was so shocked by how isolating it was, how much grief was involved."
"And it felt so unbalanced in the sense that it was all on myself and my partner. And it felt so clear to me that this isn't how we should be doing it," she said.
Becoming a parent, she said, "made me so aware of the fact that we don't take care of vulnerable people in our society." In a written interview provided by Juniper Circle Productions, she said, "I wanted someone to say that what was being expected of mothers was impossible, physically and mentally – instead of feeling like my suffering was a personal problem to solve."
The piece started as a commission for Juniper's Alan Espinoza Solo Performance Series, with no music at all. But in that written interview, Costello said singing in front of her community would scare her the most, and it was also what she wanted to do the most. So now she has a band, with Justin Nijssen, Jamie Payne and David Alderdice, plus Gabrielle Louise and Rebecca Ascarrunz as her "Mother's Little Helpers."
Costello says she's "certainly not a lifelong singer," and she sees a parallel with parenthood. "Nobody really knows what they're doing until they're actually doing it," she said.
One big thing she would love to see change is "how transparent we are in talking about all of the hardships of parenthood." The show is "definitely for adults," she said, but she wants the parents in her community to see it, so there will be free childcare onsite.
Costello writes that the show is for "anyone that has been born, whether or not they have chosen to have children of their own."
A Motherhood Experience is at 7 p.m. Saturday, Nov. 7, at The Hearth, 138 Grand Ave. in Paonia, presented by Juniper and The Learning Council, with sponsorship from The Colorado Health Foundation. Tickets are sold out, but Juniper says it will sell $10 standing-room tickets at the door that day, so plan to arrive 15 minutes early.
More on KVNF: Juniper's "From Seed to Song" evening, in the June 24 newscast, and James Barrs on "Famous," from the same solo series.
